Santa Claus is coming!

Grrr.
I am filled with the Holiday spirit. Really. What I did not expect however was my husband's feelings about Santa Claus. This is not I problem I had anticipated, but since my son has turned three and now is believing in Santa I have to deal with this. My husband claims never to have believed in Santa and does not feel we should encourage my son to believe either. I mean really, what a Scrooge. I do not think it is going to emotionally cripple my son to believe in Santa. I really don't understand P. sometimes. blah.

I feel that a giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I finally got most of my Christmas packages mailed off this weekend. There are a few still to send, but the big ones are sent. Whew.
It has been an odd weekend in emotional terms. My husband and I had a huge fight, mostly due to hormonal mood swing that I seem to suffer at least once a month, and then I kept bursting into tears during "I am Legend". lame. but I also attribute this to the aforementioned hormones, and maybe...I am not going to commit to this but I might have had a tad too much wine. maybe.
Anyways. fight. tears. then a blast from my past making contact through facebook. Facebook has really helped me find some closure over this past year with people I have not seen or heard from in years.
Sometimes I feel I am just too hard on myself, I find I worry way too much what other people think about me, about where I am in my life and about who I am now. Part of my goal is to learn to ignore those who judge my choices. I am who I am and I am probably not going to change anytime soon.
Wow...that was a huge over share and has absolutely nothing to do with me as an artist, but who cares...it is my blog and I will write about whatever I feel like. So there.

I went to my art guild meeting tonight. I like it because it gets me away from home for a few hours and I get some work done. If I stay home then I get nothing done. Here comes the "but"....HOLY CRAP they are old!!!!!!!!!!
All they talked about was chronic pain, and morphine drips and too much caffeine. Also bad eyesight, and blood thinners. I know that complaining about this may make me come across as unfeeling but I do feel bad for them...but I don't want to always listen to their medical complaints.
I realize growing old sucks, and they just want a kind ear, and I do give that to them while I am there but it is depressing. I don't want depressing, I want collaboration and inspiration and technique sharing. poop.
whine, whine, whine. but most of them are actually really nice and I really value this time away from the home. I have gotten more work done going to these meetings than I have in a long, long time.

It was pointed out to me that Christmas should be about my son this year, not me. That excellent point woke me up to being such a baby. My three year old is actually aware of the holiday this year, and is quite excited and wants to meet Santa. that is pretty cute.
I have decorated the house and we even made a construction paper wreath together. He cannot wait to get a tree and decorate it.
It should be fun. It helps that the antibiotics are kicking in and I am feeling better. whew.

I am so not into Christmas this year. My parents will not be visiting and we are not going to Canada. I am stuck here in Jersey with the husband, son and that is it. I should be happy but I am not. Why? Because Christmas in Jersey actually means Christmas in Staten Island and that makes me want to throw things. It is so depressing. This Christmas is going to suck.
blah!

Now I don't feel so guilty. Turns out I have bronchitis, which is why I have not had the energy to do anything these past two weeks. Now I am on antibiotics and should be on the road to recovery. Hopefully I have not gotten too under the wheel on the whole Christmas shopping/shipping thing.

Decided not to give up on handmade christmas gifts. Although I must say, last years Homer Simpson pillowcases were not a hit.
I have chosen to go slow and just work on ornaments for those people who you don't really want to get gifts for, but must because of social obligations. This also provides me with yet another excuse to go to the craft store, my mecca.
It is also providing me a great procrastination switch up...instead of putting of making the ornaments, I am making ornaments in order to put off dealing with the Canadian citizenship papers I have to fill out and turn in on Thursday at the Canadian Consulate in NYC. There are so many tiny details and shit I have to make sure everything is crossed and dotted. blech.